ABOUT US

NOISE FLASH

We recommend that first time visitors, or those for whom satire is a maze, should take time to read this page to find out what gave us the nerve to take on the likes of dictators, big guns and their gun dogs.

Please note that this page will either shrink to a dot or self-destruct, the moment it clocks its one millionth visitor. So hurry up!

READ THIS PAGE!

What is Foolscap?
- a bit of satire, humour, comedy, parody and plenty of fooling around!

The old regime...
The Fool's Cap (Foolscap) came to power in 1994 as Africaman, with a mandate from our patrons to laugh oppressive regimes and dictators to scorn.

As Africaman magazine, we made tactical use of our arsenal of guarded missiles, earning in the process the reputation of being "Africa's best shelling humour magazine." But our resources could not match those of General Abacha of Nigeria.

The dictator used his ARSEnal of arse-licking informers, sycophants and security agents (whom he lavished with slush funds, the size of five independent African states' economy put together) to infiltrate and destabilise the magazine. All our known associates and patrons in Nigeria were visited and subjected to untold harassment.
The magazine, Africaman, was well and truly intimidated -100 coups in all!
...the new regime
With the recent restoration of democracy in Nigeria, Africaman resurfaced in 1999, but was swiftly toppled in a coup (no.101). The news of the coup first hit our office on the eve of our going online, in the form of a terse communiqué. It advised us to keep calm and stand by for further instructions.

Later, it emerged this one was a palace coup, mischievously hatched out by our patrons who thought our name Africaman was sexist and dated. They proscribed the name and replaced it with The Fool's Cap or Foolscap - a much more clownish, foolish name to describe what we do. And to "cap" it all, they re-installed our erstwhile doorstop - a worthless figurine of a dopey horseman, Eshu - as our Head, sorry, our mascot.

In case you don't know, Eshu is a Yoruba deity of the devilish kind, patron saint of fools and jesters, reputed to be an unpredictable mischief-maker, a tempter and a bringer of confusion to peoples' lives. Himself a dictator, he takes dislike to dictators, bureaucrats and humourless people.
Well, as we all know, the devil looks after his own, so we are banking on Eshu to mislead us!

Foolscap online is a pan-African part serious, part satirical magazine published by Foolscap Media. Totally independent and non-partisan, it comes as a package of three sections: the GM, the Organic, and Neither Here Nor There.

Genetically Modified (GM): Current African political, economic and social news, gossip and disclosures are used as raw materials for satire, parody, biting cartoon comments and witty short paragraphs. Here, Foolscap is not breaking the news or bringing issues to light (as most goody-goody African publications claim), but playing the devil's advocate of knocking the living daylights out of issues! Our disclaimer applies strongly here. It would be foolish of any reader to spread offerings in this section as gospel!

Organic: Funny and wacky news stories as filed in by our equally funny and wacky reporters and writers or taken from other publications.

The Sychophant is a forthnightly confidential newsletter available only by subscription. In the Sychopant, we break confidential gossip (not rumour) as they make the rounds in the corridors of power, in very witty, short paragraphs.
These are confidential social and political incidents involving public figures and institutions.

All stories are well researched and contributed by well-tested journalists, professionals and reliable government officials. They carry no bylines; (at least, officials on the firing line won't know who to bribe against the next story!)

Thus, the noiseletter can be trusted for very objective, unsentimental reportage. It will make no sacred cow (Nigeria's President Obasanjo's favourite phrase, eh?) of any individual, organisation or political party. (Of course, if there's any need to put a varnish on any story, it would appear in our GM section. And remember not to retell it as your own story!)

The complete noiseletter offering and selected pages of Foolscap magazine, will be exclusive to our subscribers.

Neither Here Nor There: Everything else that's neither GM nor Organic. They are either too good or too awful. It's for you to find out!.

Environmental information: Your environmentally friendly Foolscap has been formulated and produced using GM and recycled news, disclosures and topical current affairs materials. This care is shown in our rigorous selection procedure and of course extensive checking of our bank account balance before going to press.

Biodegradable: The inflammatory materials in the Non-GM news are broken down into harmless materials by natural processes - i.e. they are biodegradable. They are digestible, thus no harm will be done if you were to swallow them (minus your monitor, you fool!)

The African Board of Magazine Censors (ABMC) which ritually passes our final copy (submitted on CD) before going online has carefully examined, not the CD itself, but the content of the large, sealed brown envelope which accompanied it. As a result of the notes (or bills) they found in the envelope, they have declared the content of the CD to be morally, spiritually and politically correct and not a threat to national and continental security. What you are reading therefore is uncensored.

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Editorial

Editor: Bisi Ogunbadejo
Deputy editor: (None!) Interested?
Contributing editors: (2 moonlighters and 1 tax-dodger; President arap Moi; 4 Ex-Presidents of Nigeria, namely General Babangida (retired), General Sani Abacha (deceased), President Sheu Shagari, General Muhammadu Buhari (retired); President Olusegun Obasanjo. (All very big Swiss Bankable names we have borrowed.)
Special Correspondents: A number of guys with no by-lines whom we are afraid to identify (you know why!) Contributors: Frank Odoi, Obe Ess, DD Onu, Ade Jolade, Bisi Ogunbadejo (not again!), Philip Omoba. (All genuine hoaxers)
Artist/Designer: Bisi Ogunbadejo (Why is this man all over the place?)
Production: A few good men and a couple of non-starters

Business
Publisher: Mr. Whois Asking
Web Gurus: Intelligent Era Ltd

Disclaimer

All the places and names mentioned in this publication do not exist. Any similarity, without satirical intent to dead or living public figures, is accidental and coincidental. The whole thing is a charade; a figment of our editorial board's imagination (which itself is imaginary).

We intend no malice towards any individual, organisation, political party or ethnic group. As parody goes, some of our pieces are really other people's pieces, which we have doctored or "disfigured" to suit our purpose. Once doctored, we may not credit the original authors or sources so as not to harm their reputation.

Genuine complaints, other than those about how you tried but couldn't access our web site, will not be entertained. The content of this site - text, graphics, the whole lot - is Copyright by Foolscap Media. Nothing may be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part, without first asking yourself whether it's worth it; and no proceedings for libel may be started without the publisher's prior written consent.