Osun people cheer as governor spends their money on a worthless cause

OSHOGBO - The taxpayers of Osun State were thrilled, yesterday when they turned up in their thousands at the State government shrine expecting to witness the presentation of the “Feeding of the Multitude, 2004”, but were instead treated to a lavish presentation of the2004 Budget, at which 11 posh cars worth N53 million, bought with their money were dished out to traditional rulers.

Selfless Governor Olagunsoye Oyinlola, showing a lot of sensitivity to the rumbling of thousands of empty stomachs at the event, “extolled the virtues” of the “royal fathers”, before presenting them with the vehicles. The Head of the traditional rulers, the Ooni of Ife, Oba Okunade Sijuwade got handed the keys to a Peugeot 607 car worth N8 million while the other 10 rulers got Peugeot 406 cars worth N4.5 million, each.

Oyinlola explained that the posh cars would distinguish the rulers from their subjects and hopefully bring them closer in status with the top officials of the state.

Delighted by their governor’s meaningful display of discretion, a taxpayer we spoke to said: “ We didn’t go there expecting a miracle – like the governor feeding us with two fish and five loaves of bread. No! We were there to find out how the governor was going to spend our money. But we were pleasantly surprised that he decided to spend it on those who didn’t really deserve it.”

Another taxpayer who said he felt honoured and sanctified said: ”It’s like being run over by a car! I am finished! My family is finished! The only choice left for me is NOT to become an armed robber or assassin, but to pray for the governor and wish him long life and prosperity.”

However some unemployed graduates, University drop-outs, “miscreants” and “area boys” we saw milling around the State shrine and eyeing the new vehicles thought that the traditional rulers richly deserve it and that prayers should be said cautiously as one might get what one prays for.

“Our traditional rulers in Yoruba land have the right to take everything under their domain,” said one of the area boys who recently dropped out of the local University. “Don’t forget, they also have the right to seize or commandeer your wife, your property. So these cars are nothing! That’s why they accepted them. A principled person would have rejected the gift of a luxury car. He would have told the governor, ‘No, use the money to build more schools and create more jobs’. But not our traditional rulers!”

Explaining further, he said: “Look, some of us you see around here have become desperate and frustrated. We behave like rulers and think nothing of seizing or commandeering what don’t belong to us. And of course, we pray before each operation!”

Feeling elated and full of spirit, the multitude, mostly taxpayers and god-fearing people dispersed, praising the governor and thanking God for his life; while the miscreants and area boys did brisk business seizing and commandeering what didn’t belong to them.”

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